You had better start brushing up on your Zombie imitations skills if you expect to survive yet another year. Imitation is after all the sincerest form of flattery, not to mention a good way to avoid having your brains eaten by hordes of starving Zombies.
This is a holiday that we began celebrating over at the old blog 6 years ago, and unfortunately brain-donors.com was created after the Holiday last year, so this is the first time we will be celebrating it here. What? You haven't been celebrating it every year? You've never heard about it before? You live under a rock?
"International Act Like A Zombie Day" is the premier Zombie Holiday of the year. A Day we don't share with Ghost and Goblins. A Day when future brain donors the world over pay tribute to the top of the food chain by emulating us Zombies. They do this so that they may live another year in our good graces.
Okay I hear you asking; "but Mister C. how does one act like a Zombie?" Well if truth be told for a lot of you it won't be much different than how you act every day for the first 30 minutes at work. For those more chipper and "happy smiley" at work you will probably need a bit more guidance if you hope to survive, so here are 10 basic tips:
1) Be monosyllabic, again not a problem for some of you already.
2) The word "brains" should be used at least once every 5-10 minutes.
4) Drag your leg, which doesn't really matter.
5) When grasping for anything pretend you have the arms of a T-Rex.
6) Drool whenever possible and least likely to get you in trouble.
7) When conversing with someone always be looking over their left shoulder into the far distance.
8) If you hear gunfire shamble away in the opposite direction only stupid Zombies run towards it.
9) East pasta with your hands.
10) Know that if you fail to pull this off you are unlikely to survive the coming Zombie Apocalypse.
And that is all there is to it. So be sure to take part in this Special day when it finally rolls around, and more importantly be sure to share this information with those around you. Let's make this years "International Act Like A Zombie Day" the biggest, bestest EVER!
Now you're on your own.