It's Spring again, a time when a young at heart Zombie's thoughts turn to gentler pursuits. Yep that's right it's Zombie Dating Season again. Seeing as I generally end up picking the wrong female companion, and have to end up burying them under the garden shed I figured I would let you fellow Zombies and future brain donors out there decide who I date or not.
Here is how it's going to work. Every day Monday through Friday I am going to post a picture of a potential dating candidate both here and on my Facebook wall. All you have to do is comment on each one letting me know if you think I should "Date" them, or "Bait" them and use them to make a clean get away from any angry mobs I might encounter over the weekend. Which ever girl gets the most comments wins the date.
Here's the fun part. I will post what happened on our date here in this forum thread every Sunday. So be sure to comment on each girl and let me know if you think they should be a "Date" or "Bait"!
Now you're on your own.
(if you're a Zombie girl or a girl who knows her way around gore and would like to be considered as a candidate then please submit your picture to me directly via my email here)
Looks like a keeper lol!
Dating Report: Week Ending 5/13/12
Well this week's winner in the "Date or Bait" contest was our very first entry. She won by an overwhelming landslide. No doubt that is how she initially died as well.
I picked Nursey up at 9pm in my horse drawn hearse as agreed. She didn't seem to mind that my horse Pox had a horrible case of the winds. At least I assume it was Pox, it could have just as easily been Wormwood. God knows what that wretch eats when I'm not paying attention.
We proceeded to the Grist Mill restaurant and dined on a lovely set of brains previously belonging to one Tony DeZuniga. I understand he wrote comic books or something like that. The brains were paired with a lovely 67' Pinot Noir. For dessert we enjoyed bacon wrapped truffles, the entire restaurant staff, and the remaining patrons. A good time was had by all. Okay perhaps not all, I mean things didn't end well for the staff or the rest of the patrons, but my date and I had a good time. I should like to think so at least.
On the ride back to my place, this naughty nurse certainly attempted to live up to her reputation. The brazen hussy immediately began to break out the medical equipment from her nurse's bag as soon as the hearse got moving. When I saw the catheter though, I quickly realized that she and I had something entirely different in mind when it came to playing "doctor".
Needless to say I launched the conniving bitch from the hearse while it was still at full gallop. Judging from the loud crunching sound as she hit the pavement, I am assuming she broke her femur in at least four places. Suffice to say she won't be shambling her way to my doorstep anytime in the near future. Good riddance to bad rubbish says I.
Call me old fashioned and a prude if you will, but I don't give up my bodily fluids on a first date like some freshman cheerleader looking to ditch her cashmere sweater for the first quarterback that comes along. I am especially protective of my bodily fluids, which one can only assume is what she was really after. Sadly though, not in the manner I had hoped for. I successfully avoided having a catheter rammed up my man goods the entire time while I was alive, and being dead now wasn't apt to make me more "experimental" in that regards. Truth be told, I think she was a gall-digger at heart. Clearly she was after the lucky charms I keep stashed in my gall bladder. They are the secret to my eternally good looks, and not something I am want to part with anytime soon.
Let's hope next week you future brain donors set me up with someone a little more to my liking, and someone I wouldn't mind taking home to meet my Mummy.
Now you're on your own.
Very awesome! I love it! :) Guess you showed that naughty nurse a thing or two about playing doctor!
sounds like you gave her a taste of her own medicine