For those of you who are reading this series for the first time today, "Ask the Dead Guy" is my weekly series where you future brain donors ask the questions and the Dead Guy (Me) answers them. If you missed last week's question and answer session you can find it here.
As for this week's article we seem to have hit a little snag. The mail sack is fucking empty. It's empty because you fucking future brain donors couldn't find the four fucking minutes in your busy fucking week to come up with four fucking questions for me to fucking answer. So as such there isn't going to be a fucking question and answer session this week, and it's fucking all your fault. I hope your fucking happy with yourselves.
Now in the past I've come up with some cute fucking story to fucking entertain you with in the event there wasn't four fucking questions to fucking answer, but guess what? Fuck you and your entertainment. Why should I fucking bother to entertain fucking people who can't be fucking bothered to submit a meager four fucking questions every week? Clearly I am not worth your fucking time, so why should I waste my fucking time on you? Are you fucking offended yet? If not then by all means stare at this picture below until you fucking are.
So instead of a fucking question and answer session this week, instead of a fucking entertaining story about what happens to a fucking kitten, you can all fucking enjoy staring at my middle finger for all I fucking care. When you feel you've stared at it fucking long enough then by all means feel free to take a big ole bite out of a big ole fucking shit sandwich and then fucking go back to fucking Facebook and keep supporting the fucking Zombie sites that regurgitate the same old fucking crap day in and fucking day out instead of trying to fucking entertain you with something fucking new and different. Speaking of fucking Facebook, you might have noticed I didn't post my daily entertaining pictures to fucking Facebook today. You know why? Fuck you that's why! I'm going to go back to watching my fucking cooking shows, at least they never fucking disappoint me.
Maybe next week we'll have a fucking proper "Ask the Dead Guy" article, and then again maybe we fucking won't, because it all fucking depends on you fucking brain donors submitting your measly four fucking questions. So if you can't be fucking bothered to fucking submit then, well in the words of my favorite TV chef Gordon Ramsay....