After the dead rise and go in search of living brains to satisfy their unholy craving for flesh who do you suppose will survive? Naturally there will be survivors, if you read carefully you may even be one of them. When it comes down to brass tacks what makes a survivor?
You can expect the obsessed survivalist, duh, and most rednecks, but what about the under utilized, overlooked specialist groups? What about the geeks? They play hundreds of hours of games about fighting zombies, they dwell in their mother's basements in small groups and come up with Zombie survival plans. Would they survive since they've taken such efforts to plan for it? Maybe jocks would be a better choice? They're muscular, unimaginative, tough, and totally no-nonsense. Would they have a higher or lower likelihood of survival? Let's give that some consideration, shall we?
Geek vs. Jock, a legendary match-up since the dawn of time. The under muscled, overly smart nerds have been running from the physically superior jocks seemingly forever while the jocks, intimidated by their rival's brilliance, have been insistent on beating up those smaller than themselves for just as long. So let's take the two groups one at a time and see who's got what it takes for survival of the fittest.
The geek. You're picturing them now, skinny, pimply, glasses, braces, pocket protectors, flood pants with saddle shoes, suspenders. Geeks tend to look alike and shamble around in packs for what protection it affords them. They're sun deprived and look malnourished. One might not even be able to tell them for the undead if you don't look close enough.
These unfortunates have spent hundreds, maybe thousands of hours playing Zombie shooter video games and watching Zombie films over bowls of popcorn. They might have a small edge there for the simple reason that they've 'studied' their prospective opponents. Usually these guys have great thumbs from all that gaming, some even have pretty hefty forearms from...uh...private personal things that lonely nerds do. But for the most part they're not physically that strong. What they are, is smart. And since they're accustomed to being picked on and beaten up they're usually pretty adept at hiding and scurrying for cover. I should probably mention, these are not the sort of guys you want watching your back because once you start getting munched on they're going to be too busy running for cover.
The plus side to being a nerd, geek, dweeb, or whatever you want to call them this week...brains! Zombies love brains. But when you're a geek those brains, besides being a great Zombie appetizer, are incredibly useful. Most of these guys have sat in their basements making up plans for surviving the Zombie apocalypse for years. They know what they need, where to find it, how to use it, how to build it, etc. Smarts have to count for something and in this case, they do. But don't count on a geek being all that smart. When a pretty zombie girl comes moaning...well it's probably the only time a girl has ever wanted them for their brains. They might not be able to resist.
Now let's consider the jocks. These are the big guys, the bruisers, the football team guys who even has muscles in their heads. They're the kind of guy that every girl "ooh's and aah's" over when they flex their impressive biceps. They're usually also the guys cribbing from other people's papers to keep their grades high enough to pass. Jocks are definitely safer than nerds when it comes to being zombie bait, these guys have so under used their brains that the poor things are probably shrunken up like prunes. (Just like their nuts after too many steroids.) There won't be any mistaking these guys for the undead. They usually come tanned, buff, with pearly whites and silky hair. On the other hand, once these guys turn they normally aren't any dumber than they were in life.
Jocks have the edge physically though. These guys as I said earlier, are bruisers. They can hit with the force of a train and are adept at picking on anyone smaller or weaker than they are. They've trained themselves to be fast and agile on any playing field so could avoid most zombie attacks and if cornered they can dish out enough damage to get themselves loose.
Think they've got the market cornered on Z-day survival? Wrong! Jocks think they're heroes in disguise. They're arrogant and self assured, they know the power they have, the muscles they've build, and their effect on the female libido. They're the kind of guys who'd charge out into a horde on the off chance it would impress a woman out of her panties. They might also assume that their good looks and charm would be enough to get that hot Zombie chick to fall for them too. Sadly, due to their lack of intelligence they would likely not even believe a Zombie apocalypse was even taking place until they were getting noshed on by a brain hungry friend turned fiend. You can't have these guys at your back any more than the geeks. While a geek will run a jock will charge headlong in completely sure that he'll come out covered in glory instead of covered in bites. That makes for a dangerous companion. Not to mention that a jock would also probably not even tell you if he were bitten, certain that it wasn't important.
When taken as a whole neither type of guy seems more likely to survive than the other. They both have their individual problems that keep them from being ideal candidates to be at the top of the evolutionary ladder of success. However, if one has to be chosen as more likely than the other I'd have to say the Geeks win it by a pimple laden nose. Geeks are like rats, they are survivors, scurrying to hide, keeping low, attracting no attention and holing up anywhere secure. Not a huge recommendation, and not especially group oriented, but they do know how to avoid trouble and how to hide. So hats off to you, Geeks. Like the rodents you resemble you're a survivor because you think of yourself first.
So in summation when Z-day finally gets here, grab up the closest geek, learn what you can from them, and know that when things start to look rough they're gonna hightail it for the hills with or without you.
Remember you heard it here first, now.....SURVIVE THIS!
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