Spring has sprung, and your young ones are bursting to the brim with energy. Your hair is turning gray, and what isn’t coming out naturally you find yourself ripping out in handfuls. A nice safe padded room with a jacket that gives you a big hug is sounding like a dream come true. Even the best parents, can become nut cases when their children’s pent up energy comes streaming out. Personally every spring, I wish for an all-inclusive vacation at the funny farm; however I never get that damn lucky.
Today’s article is one that I hope you will all find useful in any survival situation, and that it will help you avoid the urge to throw yourself to the first Zombie you come across. Come on admit it, even the best of us sometimes thinks having Mr. C. gnawing on our brains has got to be more fun than children killing each other over a toy (editor's note: if this article doesn't do the trick for you, feel free to contact me directly and make arrangements for that brain gnawing). With the weather finally getting nice outside, and the weekend almost here, I'd like to talk to you about kids, Spring fever, and how to avoid the headaches that can come with both.
In any survival situation you are going to need to find ways to keep the children entertained. It is best that these ideas come from adults, and have adult supervision or you might wind up with your kids playing with something like Zombie piñata’s. Or heaven forbid having your teenage boys making bets on who can get an M80 up a dead guy’s ass without getting bit. Of course you never know, that idea could turn out to be the post-apocalyptic version of "Jackass", and you might end up rolling in dough, not to mention laughing your ass of as you watch nature clean up the gene pool. To prevent this kind of tragedy from happening, any entertainment you devise to keep the rug rats occupied should be well thought out, fun, yet most of all safe. Here are some ideas for all you caregivers who are at your wits end, and too stressed out by staying alive to think for yourselves.
How about a fun new variation of an old favorite, instead of pinning the tail on the donkey, let’s play "Pin the Brain on the Zombie!" For this game I recommend that you avoid any temptation to use a real Zombie, due to the inherent safety hazards, and the fact that you couldn’t use the same Shambler more than once. Instead I recommend you draw a Zombie head on a big sheet of paper, leaving the skull half open to allow for the brain to be pinned in it. On separate sheets of paper draw lots of different brains for the kids to each decorate on their own. This allows for the same materials to be used time and time again to “Pin the Brain on the Zombie!”
This one is a great rendition of an old favorite, and is great to play with the younger children. It will be a big hit with kids under age 8. I like to call this one "Run Run Zombie". It is sort of like Duck Duck Goose, except that the child you tap on the head is deemed the Zombie and chases the other child around the circle yelling Brains! If you are caught you become the new Zombie, but if you get away, then the Zombie must try to eat someone else’s brains. This game can go on and on until the kids get bored with it, and it requires absolutely no preparation, so it can be played on a whim.
This game is a little bit more complicated. It is a fun out door game called "Zombie Attack". For this game you need a wide open space, 150 feet of string( to mark a game board on the ground), six 2 liter pop bottles filled a quarter of the way with water, 3 to 6 bean bags, 6 ping pong balls, and an empty shoe box. First you take the string and mark 6 columns of 10 rows on the ground. Each square should be big enough to hold a 2- liter bottle with no problem.
Next have each child draw Zombies on three pieces of paper. These papers can later be attached to the 2 litters to make “Zombie” moving pieces. Finally on the ping pong balls write the number 1 on three of them, the number 2 on two of them, and the number 3 on one of them, then place them in the shoe box to use as a draw for moving the pieces. This game can be played in teams or one on one.
To start the game, create a throw line about 5 to 8 feet from the “Zombie’s”. Each player takes three bean bags, if you only have three they may take turns. The object is to throw the bean bags at the Zombies to stop them from moving forward. After all the bean bags have been thrown, you draw from the shoe box three balls. The first ball for the first space, second for second, and so on. If the bottle on those lines are were knocked down, then the zombie moves back, but only as far as the start line. If the bottle is still up right, move forward the number of spaces on the ball. The first player to allow a Zombie across the finish line loses. Simple as that.
Game number 4:
We shall call this one the "Eyeball Toss". This game is quick to set up and very low maintenance. Just give each player a plain ping pong ball, and allow them to decorate it any way they want to, so long as it looks like an eye to a point. Next set up a bowl, or "cauldron", or even Solo cups (red party cups for you college kids reading this) at the bottom of the stairs, or across the floor. Then you take turns bouncing the balls and trying to get them into the pot. Winner is the one who gets the most balls in in the time limit you set for them.
Game number 5:
This last game is a new take on an old Easter party favorite, we will call the "Eyeball Relay Race". Gather up teams, and hand the first player on each team a spoon with a peeled grape, or a peeled hard-boiled egg, in a pinch post Z-day, I imagine you could use a real eye if you so choose. Each player takes turns running up and around a chair that is placed 50' from the starting line, and back, then handing off the spoon to the next player who does the same. Play goes like this till everyone on each team has had a turn and the first team to finish wins the game.
I think at this point it's safe to stop it here. I believe you get the picture now. Games can be made from anything anywhere. All you need is a little imagination, a bit of innovation, and you can entertain a group of children for hours at a time.
There is no need to let the screaming tantrums of boredom infiltrate your survival camp, or even your per-apocalyptic home. Enjoy them while they are young and carefree, because the older they get, the more intense the personal drama becomes. Someday you will be watching your teenager play Zombie Bowling, Head Shot Look-alike Bingo, or maybe even Zombie Bombing. Until then, you can have fun and do it safely.
You heard it here first, now SURVIVE THIS!
Editors Note: If you have any questions or comments about this article, or you have a suggestion for subject matter that you'd like to see the Twins write about, please use the comment section below