So the zombies are out and about. You find yourself having to run from them more and more often. Trying to elude those hungry flesh eaters is your number one priority, but the question on everyone’s mind is ; what do I wear? Today I am hoping to help you learn what clothing attire is appropriate, and which you should avoid at all costs.
I guess it would be more appropriate to start with what not to wear. Firstly if you are a female, I would avoid heels at all costs. Yes they look smashingly great. They make your legs appear longer and more tone, and in case of a Zombie attack one can take them off and bash the heel into the brain of the attacking flesh eater. However, they are not very comfortable. They cause blisters and sore feet. They also tend to make running for your life an impossible feat.
Instead of running for your life you would be running in an "OMG I’m running a tad late tee he he" fashion. I am sure we have all seen that lady running across the street trying to escape the rain, or hurrying to a meeting they are late for. Is that how you want to run while you're being chased by Zombies? When you have to run through wooded and grassy areas, your heels will sink into the ground. You will twist your ankle, or just stumble and fall. Then, just because you wanted to be stylish and sexy, your brains become Zombie chow.
This next wardrobe selection is also something ladies should avoid; the mini’s. Be they dresses or skirts. Sex appeal is not going to be on anyone’s mind at this point in the game, the number one priority is survival. To survive you need to be smart about what and how you wear things. While tight clothing brings a higher chance of bites making contact with the skin, baggy clothing can pose just as big a threat. Those baggy pants that you young men think are all the rage can equal a death sentence. Baggy pants inhibit your ability to run, increasing your chances of stumbling and then becoming an entrée for the Zombie horde. Baggy clothing can also get stuck on trees and bushes making you easy prey. Another good point to make here is that when those flesh eaters are grabbing at you, wouldn’t it be easier for them to catch you if there was extra fabric for them to connect with? So avoid clothing that is either too tight and/or too loose for safety sake.
Now that we've covered what not to wear, on to what you should be wearing to survive an attack from the undead. You should always wear comfortable clothing that fits well. If you can find it, I would recommend armor plated clothing like riot gear. This will provide a layer of protection against bites, and weaponry assaults from other survivors you may encounter. However if it proves impossible to find this kind of attire, here is your next best bet. Wear jeans. A good sturdy pair without the holes.
Jeans will provide a nice layer between the rotten teeth of a zombie and the flesh of your legs. I know that it won’t be nearly as stylish without the holes, but we are going for survival not sexy in our style post z day. Next, depending on the weather of the region you are at during the outbreak; choose either a long or short sleeve t shirt. This has not real protection value, but it is easy to move in and won’t constrict your range of movement. A good sturdy jacket would also come in handy, preferably jean or even better a military style, one that can be tied around your waist during the day when it is hot, yet accessible for the cold at nights.
Another must is a good sturdy pair of comfortable boots. I would recommend either a pair of EMT boots, or combat boots. These are made to be comfortable on your feet, yet provide grip and protection. A good strong pair of boots could be your last defense against a zombie bit to the ankle. They will prevent a zombie from being able to sink his teeth into you as you’re walking in places where they could be crawling around. Imagine you are in a place full of cars, and a brain eater grabs you from under one. Before you can shoot him he sinks his teeth into your heel. Well if you are wearing sandals or flip flops, you are now among the infected. Sneakers might provide minimal protection, but just a few inches of height could make all the difference. Choose boots; choose life.
For you ladies, and even some of you men, with long hair, I would recommend a ball cap. Keep your hair pulled back into a pony tail and through the cap, it will keep it from obstructing your field of vision in necessary circumstances, and could prove beneficial to your life. It wouldn’t be a bad idea for everyone to consider wearing one either. It will help keep the sun out of your eyes and the sunburn off your face at least. Don’t want skin cancer to take you out instead of a horde of flesh eating cannibals, do you?
Now my favorite part of any wardrobe; the accessories! What can I say, I may be a Doctor, but I am still a woman, and I have to accessorize any and all attire I put on. However, while avoiding Zombies you do not want to be wearing diamond necklaces, bangle bracelets, or huge hoops in your ears. You can still accessorize in style though.
A good hunting knife should be priority. Make sure it is sturdy with a non-slip handle, a 4-6 inch blade, and a sheath for convenient storage and carrying. Place it on your belt for easy access, not only will it look stylish, but will be a life saver time and time again, for even gutting your small game, or killing zombies. I would recommend a cold steel SRK or search and rescue knife. Please avoid gut hook knifes at all costs. They could get stuck on clothing or the sheath when you need them most.
Instead of a necklace around your neck, you might think about a good compass hanging there instead. You never know when you might need to know your direction of travel. I know this next item will seem a little Emo, but if you can find them and pull them off, spiked wrist cuffs would be an excellent choice. In my opinion (note I said OPINION) they could provide a layer of protection in the wilderness. I mean they might do little against zombies, but they could save you from a poisonous snake bite, or other wild animal attack.
Old army packs once used by soldier’s during field training are ideal. They normally come already packed with certain survival necessities. Most are easy to carry and have all the things that you will actually need in a true survival situation.
Something like this should be a must have for all us future brain donors when we are making our Z-day preparations, especially if we plan to bug out. Being able to be on the move when necessary is something that will definitely help you stay alive. You want to stay alive right?
Now I am sure Mr. C. won't appreciate us being this well prepared as it means he'd have to work harder for his brain smoothies, but I like to be prepared as well as stylish when I am running from Zombies. I guess Mr. C. is just going to have to work a bit harder from here on out.
Remember you heard it here first, now…..SURVIVE THIS!