Gather round Children because today I've got something really, really special planned for Story Time.  Today instead of a plain old story I am going to teach you a little song that you can sing over and over again for Mommy and Daddy on those super long family drives they like to take you on. Doesn't that sound like fun?

This song is from an old nursery rhyme that your Unkie Cantankerous used to sing when he was a little boy, and still alive just like you. Many decades later some silly purple dinosaur came along and changed all the words. He made a really cool song into some mushy lovey dovey politically correct stupid-head song.  I never liked that stupid Dinosaur, so I was very happy when he became extinct. Kinda like you humans will become extinct when we Zombie kill you all and eat your brains. Won't that be fun? I bet you can't wait to become extinct like that silly purple dinosaur and all of his silly friends.  Children, If you don't know what extinct means, be sure to ask Mommy and Daddy to explain it to you.

Are you ready to learn my song now? You can have Mommy and Daddy teach you the tune that goes with the words. Once you learn it, make sure you wake up bright and early every single morning and sing it to them. I know Mommy and Daddy would really, really like that a lot, because you are all such good little singers. Make sure you sing Unkie Cantankerous' song as loud as you can too, because it sounds the best when you do that. You want to be the best right Children?

This dead man, he splayed one
He splayed snick-snack and ate my thumb 
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed two
He splayed snick-snack with my sinew
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed three
He splayed snick-snack and ate my knee
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed four
He splayed snick-snack with my guts and gore
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed five
He splayed snick-snack and ate me alive
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed six
He splayed snick-snack then ate some chicks
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed seven
He splayed snick-snack while I watched from heaven
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed eight
He splayed snick-snack while he ate and ate
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed nine
He splayed snick-snack as he sucked a spine
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

This dead man, he splayed ten
He splayed snick-snack on all my friends
With a snick-snack fanny-pack, toss the Zed a brain
This dead man went shambling again

Well I don't know about you Children, but this Dead Man's belly is very full now and I sure am tired  after all that shambling, so I think it's bed time for me. It's probably bed time for you now too. The crack of dawn is coming really soon and you've got a new song to sing as soon as the sun comes up.  So give Mommy and Daddy a big hug for me, and remember Children,  Zombies love hugging, so be sure to hug every Zombie you see.  Night, night for now.

The End

Children if there is a Zombie Fairy Tale you'd like me to tell at some point in the future, please leave your suggestions in the comment section below. -Mister Cantankerous